Weirdest story of the week:Hollywood "star whackers"

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 27 December 2010

David Carradine dies in a hotel room in Bangkok in June 2009. The police say it was auto-asphyxiation, probably a sex game gone wrong.

But could it have been... murder?

Hollywood publicist Ronni Chasen in gunned down in November 2010 after the premiere of the movie Burlesque, apparently the victim of a robbery.

How could the two events, separated by a year and a half and several thousand miles, be related?

Obviously, it was the work of Hollywood Star Whackers!

Hollywood Star Whackers is the strong belief of Randy and Evi Quaid, who believe they are "next" on the list of people who will be killed, to be added to other "murder victims" like Chris Penn and Heath Ledger, both of whom died from overdoses according to the official story. The couple has outlined their belief in the conspiracy to Esquire magazine, a complicated evil plan which includes a Dairy Queen in Texas and Radar Online, the Internet gossip site owned by AMI, the company that operates five of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter.

A good sign of how seriously this story is being taken is that the only paper to cover it is the low rent Examiner. But then again, if there was a conspiracy, wouldn't it make sense for the bad guys to print it in a newspaper with zero credibility?

Sorry, my bad. I should have never used the phrase "make sense" in any story involving Randy and Evi Quaid.

I have to lie down and rest now.