Bad Dad Alert: James Brolin's son is homeless.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 July 2011

The Enquirer threw a dart at a board full of celebrity names and decided to make James Brolin's life a living hell. Back in March, they reported on trouble in his marriage to Barbra Streisand, and now they have a picture of someone they say is Brolin's son, a big guy - they say 300 lbs., could be more - who looks developmentally disabled, who is now living out of his truck.

Before you ask, no, it's not Josh Brolin. Say what you will about him, he's not fat.

Bad Dad Alert: James Brolin's son is homeless.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 July 2011

The Enquirer threw a dart at a board full of celebrity names and decided to make James Brolin's life a living hell. Back in March, they reported on trouble in his marriage to Barbra Streisand, and now they have a picture of someone they say is Brolin's son, a big guy - they say 300 lbs., could be more - who looks developmentally disabled, who is now living out of his truck.

Before you ask, no, it's not Josh Brolin. Say what you will about him, he's not fat.

Bad Dad Alert: James Brolin's son is homeless.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 July 2011

The Enquirer threw a dart at a board full of celebrity names and decided to make James Brolin's life a living hell. Back in March, they reported on trouble in his marriage to Barbra Streisand, and now they have a picture of someone they say is Brolin's son, a big guy - they say 300 lbs., could be more - who looks developmentally disabled, who is now living out of his truck.

Before you ask, no, it's not Josh Brolin. Say what you will about him, he's not fat.

Bad dad alert: Khloe is stunned by Lamar's baby secret.

Publication: OK!

Date: 6 June 2011

There's one story each for the Kardashian sisters this week on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter. OK! says that Lamar is hiding some baby secret and Khloe is stunned. On their website, it is revealed that Lamar already has kids and he hasn't been the perfect dad to them.

Bad parents alert: BrAngelina's kids turn violent!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 21 March 2011

The Flagship doesn't like BrAngelina, but then again, The Flagship doesn't like anybody very much. Instead of calling Angie insane, this week they say all the kids are hellions. Here are the subheadlines.

• They are attacking each other
• Kicking, punching, scratching
• The vicious fight at school
• Brad's protecting the twins.
  

And just in case you've forgotten the names of any of their 748 children, there are separate photos of Maddox, Zahara, Pax, Shiloh, Knox and Viv.

Bad parents alert:Suri, diva on the set.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 31 January 2011

This week, Tuesday is Pick on Scientologists Day! Most of the nastiest stories about the people in the weird cult come from the AMI kennel, but this one is from In Touch, the meanest of the "regular" supermarket rags, with about one in three positive stories. (Note: that isn't even close to the Three Wicked Step Sister rags, who average one positive story in every nine.) In any case, yet again we have a story saying Suri Cruise is an out of control brat whose parents give her way too much leeway.

Bad Dad Alert™:Sandra Bullock's father a wife beater.

Publication: Globe
Date: 20 September 2010

Sandra Bullock still has the lead in terms of numbers of covers on which she's mentioned, but over the past month or so, there have been very few stories actually about her. It's been more stories about her scumbag ex-husband Jesse James and what her reaction must be.

Now we get yet another story where she is the bait but the story is about someone else, this time her dad. The Globe shows a photograph of part of a document that could be from court or might be a police report with the names of a couple with the last name Bullock.

Again, Sandy herself is doing her best to stay out of the tabs, but they keep dragging her back in.

Bad Mom and Dad Alert™:BrAngelina fight over Shiloh yet again

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 September 2010

Yet again, the raising of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt makes it to the cover of the supermarket rags. BrAngelina cannot agree on how to deal with their little tomboy and much is the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments.

If you believe Weekly Life & Style.

Bad Dad Alert™:Lonely love child Frances Quinn Hunter

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 6 September 2010

They haven't been pushing the John Edwards story line very hard recently, but for those of you may have lost track, the Flagship hates him and casts him in the worst possible light at every turn. Earlier this year, they said he was going to jail and that he had proposed to Rielle Hunter, but it's been many months since those were published and nothing has come of them.

Now, the nastiest thing they can come up with about Edwards after leaving the story alone for a month is that he is a bad dad who has ignored his little bastard daughter Frances Quinn.

I usually don't agree with the tone of the stories the Flagship publishes, but if this little girl is being raised by Rielle Hunter by herself, I do feel sorry for defenseless little Frances, because her mom is one crazy bitch.

Bad Mom and Dad Alert™:BrAngelina fight over Shiloh

Publication: In Touch
Date: 31 May 2010

Cover stories about BrAngelina as a couple have slowed down to a trickle in recent months. After dozens in January and February, there were five in March, two in April and just one so far in May. This one says they disagree on the raising of daughter Shiloh.

Let me go on the record saying I agree with Keith Olbermann that you cannot call a little girl Shiloh Pitt. Do they think kids today can't figure out spoonerisms?

Bad Mom and Dad Alert™:BrAngelina fight over Shiloh

Publication: In Touch
Date: 31 May 2010

Cover stories about BrAngelina as a couple have slowed down to a trickle in recent months. After dozens in January and February, there were five in March, two in April and just one so far in May. This one says they disagree on the raising of daughter Shiloh.

Let me go on the record saying I agree with Keith Olbermann that you cannot call a little girl Shiloh Pitt. Do they think kids today can't figure out spoonerisms?

Bad Mom and Dad Alert™:Celebrity Kids spoiled rotten

Publications: Star, Us Weekly

Date: 29 Mar. 2010

Both Star and Us Weekly have cover stories about the lives of little kids of celebrities. Both magazines include Suri Cruise (pictured above) and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, but the Star also goes after Halle Berry's kid Nahla, Nicole Richie's Harlow, Matthew McConaughey's son Levi and Tori Spelling's daughter Stella.

In a small gesture of believing in privacy for people who aren't in kindergarten yet, the tags I gave are for the parents, not the kids. Little kids should be happy being surprised by friendly dogs, not plastered on the covers of gossip rags. I hope both of these magazines sell poorly enough this week to convince the publishers not to do this again.