Bad mom alert: Mom torments Kardashian sisters over their bodies.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 23 May 2011

In Touch calls out Kris Jenner as a nasty beeyotch ruining the lives of her daughters. Here are the details.

• Kourtney pressured to get Botox to erase crow's-feet
• Khloe delays baby plans for lip after Kris calls her 'fat'
• Kim agrees to a super-sized butt implant to stay famous

Doesn't being famous sound like super fun?

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Khloe bullied for being fat YET AGAIN.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 9 May 2011

Yet again, Khloe, the Baby Huey of the Kardashian clan, has a cover story about her weight. here are the headlines.

• Khloe tells Us
• Tortured for her weight
• After her mom calls her fat, Khloe opens us about her lifelong struggle and how Lamar makes her feel sexy

While this may not seem relevant to the Kardashian family, Khloe is the only daughter who is actually married and whose male companion does not seem like a complete douchebag.

This puts her a few points ahead of her petite but huge hootered sisters.

Bells Are Ringing alert™ and Bun in The Oven Alert™:Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush back together

Publication: OK!
Date: 14 June 2010

OK! uses most of the cover to say that Kim K and Reggie Bush are back together, getting ready to marry and a baby on the way. They also give a large amount of the credit to Kim's pushy mom, Kris Jenner.

This sounds more like a dream Mrs. Jenner had than the actual truth. Stay tuned for further developments.

Bells Are Ringing alert™ and Bun in The Oven Alert™:Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush back together

Publication: OK!
Date: 14 June 2010

OK! uses most of the cover to say that Kim K and Reggie Bush are back together, getting ready to marry and a baby on the way. They also give a large amount of the credit to Kim's pushy mom, Kris Jenner.

This sounds more like a dream Mrs. Jenner had than the actual truth. Stay tuned for further developments.

Bad Mom Alert™:Kim Kardashian's love life ruined by her mom

Publication: In Touch
Date: 7 June 2010

In Touch tells us the problems Kim K has with relationships stem from her mama Kris Jenner.

This makes a lot of sense. After all, we can't expect a young girl who is about to celebrate her 30th birthday to be able to make good decisions on her own. It just has to be someone else's fault, so let's blame mom.

[Sarcasm off].

Bad Mom Alert™:Kim Kardashian's love life ruined by her mom

Publication: In Touch
Date: 7 June 2010

In Touch tells us the problems Kim K has with relationships stem from her mama Kris Jenner.

This makes a lot of sense. After all, we can't expect a young girl who is about to celebrate her 30th birthday to be able to make good decisions on her own. It just has to be someone else's fault, so let's blame mom.

[Sarcasm off].

Problems with Plastic Alert™:All in the family plastic surgery for the Kardashians

Publication: In Touch
Date: 10 May 2010

There are a lot of stories this week about weight or plastic surgery or both. In Touch wants us to know that the Kardashian clan has been under the knife plenty, including Kim, her sister Kourtney (pictured here during her pregnancy) and mom Kris Jenner.

I'm always a little disappointed when I hear about attractive young women in their twenties getting stuff done, but with this bunch, just as long as they know who did the work on stepdad Bruce Jenner and avoid that quack like the plague, things have a chance to turn out for the best.

Problems with Plastic Alert™:All in the family plastic surgery for the Kardashians

Publication: In Touch
Date: 10 May 2010

There are a lot of stories this week about weight or plastic surgery or both. In Touch wants us to know that the Kardashian clan has been under the knife plenty, including Kim, her sister Kourtney (pictured here during her pregnancy) and mom Kris Jenner.

I'm always a little disappointed when I hear about attractive young women in their twenties getting stuff done, but with this bunch, just as long as they know who did the work on stepdad Bruce Jenner and avoid that quack like the plague, things have a chance to turn out for the best.