Love Bird Alert™: Matthew Morrison and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 18 April 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

Star tells us that Matthew Morrison and Gwyneth Paltrow spent a secret night in a London hotel.

Judging from this picture, I'm guessing they would have to make a major effort to have a total of zero chemistry together. It's hard to get more awkward than this and that level of awkward is not accidental.

Annoying label bookkeeping #8

This is a link to the post below made necessary by the massive number of labels for the story.

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™: Best and worst celebrity diets, March 2011

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 28 March 2011

I'm being a little dishonest using this picture to illustrate the Flagship's most recent foray into good and bad celebrity bodies. This picture is supposed to represent an attractive young woman on a diet that works. The Enquirer is also dishonest in their headline, because there is no "best" on the list this week. Everyone is either too fat, scary skinny of over-exercises.

Too fat: Gabourney Sibide (350 lbs.), Jessica Simpson (packs on 25 pounds)
Too skinny: Tara Reid (bag of bones), Gwyneth Paltrow (about 100 lbs.)
Arms too well defined: Cameron Diaz, Sarah Jessica Parker

This is in keeping with the general concept that the National Enquirer doesn't like anybody.

Oscar review

Publications: People, Us Weekly
Date: 14 March 2011

Both People and Us Weekly have cover stories about last week's Academy Awards. Here are the headlines and a list of the celebrities pictured.

• People: Oscar glam! All the dresses, dish and hot pics
  pictures of Sandra Bullock, Colin Firth, Reese Witherspoon, Anne Hathaway
• Us Weekly: Oscars - best gowns, parties, gossip
  pictures of Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Gwyneth Paltrow
  

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Hot moms.

Publication: Star
Date: 7 March 2011

The Star has pictures of two women who have children in bikinis. One is Padma Lakshmi, the celebrity chef who is making her first appearance on the cover of an American gossip rag in the last two years.

The other is Gwyneth Paltrow.

Rich people are rich alert:Touring the stars' homes

Publication: OK!
Date: 8 November 2010

Fresh trash tomorrow, last trash of the week... right now!

OK! has a cover story about tours of the stars' homes. The names listed on the cover are Jennifer Lopez, Lady Gaga and Gwyneth Paltrow. The picture above is entrance way of Gracie Mansion, the official residence of the mayor of New York City.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Madonna and Gwyneth no longer BFFs!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 21 June 2010

So Gwyn said something about Madge, and Madge was like "Oh, no you din't!" and Gwyn was like all "Uh-huh, and whatchoo gonna do about it?" and Madge was totally "Oh, beeyotch, you did not go there, because now it's on like Donkey Kong!" (Madge said that 'cos she's like totally old. Like she remembers when Donkey Kong first came out.)

Or words to that effect. Exact quotes may vary.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Madonna and Gwyneth no longer BFFs!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 21 June 2010

So Gwyn said something about Madge, and Madge was like "Oh, no you din't!" and Gwyn was like all "Uh-huh, and whatchoo gonna do about it?" and Madge was totally "Oh, beeyotch, you did not go there, because now it's on like Donkey Kong!" (Madge said that 'cos she's like totally old. Like she remembers when Donkey Kong first came out.)

Or words to that effect. Exact quotes may vary.