On the rocks alert: Marriages explode!

Publication: Star
Date: 19 July 2011

The Star has stories of three celebrity marriages in trouble taking up most of the cover this week. Here are the headlines.


Katy Perry pain: Living apart from Russell After Only 8 months


Shock for Demi Moore: Ashton's Night With Nude Model


Ben Affleck Busted: His Boozing, Lies & Gambling - Jen Garner's Fury

Welcome to gossip hell 2011, Jen Garner! This is the first mention of her in a year and a half, and the first mention of Ben Affleck in 2011.

You So Crazy Alert™ :Hollywood out of control!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 28 February 2011

The Enquirer loves scatter shot stories. Why pick on one celebrity in detail when you can trash half a dozen? They call it "Hollywood out of control", but it's not all actors. The celebrities on the front cover are:

• Christina Aguilera (who they call a fallen star)
• Amy Winehouse
• Charlie Sheen
• Matt Lauer, who appears to be at a strip club
• David Arquette
• Demi Moore

On the rocks alert:Demi and Ashton divorce bombshell

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 18 October 2010

I might say this story isn't going away, but signs are that it is going away. In a strange move, this story that was started in Star magazine has now moved over to the Enquirer. It's common for stories that start in the Enquirer to be demoted to Star or the Globe or the low rent Examiner.

I'm guessing that the editorial boards of Star and the Enquirer look at each other as almost equal, though I'm not sure either group likes it much.

Love Bird Alert™:Why Demi's okay with Ashton's cheating scandal

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 11 October 2010

Last week, three different publications had Ashton and Demi on the cover, but this week only one. Weekly Life & Style says what has been obvious from the start. In public, Ashton and Demi are showing a united front and all the tabloid gossip doesn't seem to be bothering them. Unlike BrAngelina, who don't make a lot of public statements except in very controlled environments, Ashton and Demi are always on Twitter and the like and life is going on as usual.

I don't know if their indifference is going to kill the story or just make the tabloids angrier. Right now, it looks like the scnadal may be canceled because they refuse to be scandalized.

On the Rocks Alert:Three more stories about Ashton and Demi

Publications: People, Star, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 4 October 2010

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore look to be the new couple in trouble the supermarket rags are going to put under the microscope. People has now weighed in, and on the cover, they don't say it's all nonsense.

Star magazine was the first to report, and now they says they have Ashton's texts to the young woman he is cheating with.

Weekly Life & Style says they are hanging by a thread.

People focuses on Demi. They bring up that he is 32 and she is 47, that he has been accused of cheating and she is tweeting pictures of herself in a bikini. The last line of their sub-head is "Can this five-year union stand the strain?

Only one thing is certain. The story isn't over.

Meanest Story nominee:Ashton Kutcher caught cheating

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 13 September 2010

I don't know any celebrities, I just know what I read on the Internet. Everything I read about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher makes me believe they are deeply in love. Last week, the Globe said that Demi had fallen into the arms of another woman and this week, the Star is saying Ashton is cheating. Kutcher, one of the most savvy stars dealing with new media, is all over Twitter and Facebook denying it and Demi has been quoted as saying she believes him.

This blog offers its best wishes to the happy couple and hopes all the bad supermarket press is just the usual nonsense.

Comfy Shoes Alert™:Demi Moore's wild romp with another woman

Publication: Globe
Date: 6 September 2010

You know what we haven't had in ever so long? One of the Three Wicked Step Sisters implying that some woman brings with her the Perils of Lesbianity!

Yes, it looks like Demi Moore has fallen prey to lesbian attack, and may soon be a trouser mouser herself.

Stay alert! This can happen to you or someone you love!

Ugly duckling alert:Demi Moore had no fashion sense as a kid

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 1 Mar. 2010

The tabloid week winds down and this Wednesday has some cold leftovers. Weekly Life & Style asks us to guess what star took this unflattering picture when she was a kid.

You don't have to guess. It's Demi Moore. Glad to be of service.