Problems With Plastic Alert™:bad surgery anthology

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 27 September 2010

The low rent Examiner spends most of the cover on pictures of women who look awful after plastic surgery. The women on the cover are Mary Tyler Moore, Tanya Tucker, Joan Kennedy, Heather Locklear and Loni Anderson.

Hey Old Timer Gossip:What's wrong with these stars?

Publication:Globe
Date: 9 August 2010

The Globe goes with the vague headline "What's wrong with these stars?" and then shows pictures of five people, four of whom had claims to fame before I left high school (which is a long, long time ago) and one whose first claim to fame comes the summer after I leave high school.

Some of the things wrong with these folks might count as Not Long 4 This World alerts, but they didn't come out and say so on the cover, so it doesn't count.


Technically, Suzanne Somers does not count as Hey Old Timer Gossip. She had a few uncredited roles in movies before I got my high school diploma, but her first noted role in American Graffiti is released two months after I say good bye and good riddance to Alameda High School.

Tanya Tucker is the youngest person on this list and younger than I am, but her first hit Delta Dawn is recorded in 1972 when she is 13, and since I was still in high school, she qualifies as Hey Old Timer Gossip.

Jane Fonda was working when I was in grade school, so she certainly qualifies.

Mary Tyler Moore has a credit before I entered kindergarten as the legs and voice of Sam on Richard Diamond, so she definitely counts.

And old scummy Pat Boone, whose earliest hit came before I was born and whose career was forwarded by the blatantly racist recording industry of the 1950s, qualifies as Hey Old Timer Gossip in anybody's book.

I hope most of these people are okay.

Hey Old Timer Gossip:What's wrong with these stars?

Publication:Globe
Date: 9 August 2010

The Globe goes with the vague headline "What's wrong with these stars?" and then shows pictures of five people, four of whom had claims to fame before I left high school (which is a long, long time ago) and one whose first claim to fame comes the summer after I leave high school.

Some of the things wrong with these folks might count as Not Long 4 This World alerts, but they didn't come out and say so on the cover, so it doesn't count.


Technically, Suzanne Somers does not count as Hey Old Timer Gossip. She had a few uncredited roles in movies before I got my high school diploma, but her first noted role in American Graffiti is released two months after I say good bye and good riddance to Alameda High School.

Tanya Tucker is the youngest person on this list and younger than I am, but her first hit Delta Dawn is recorded in 1972 when she is 13, and since I was still in high school, she qualifies as Hey Old Timer Gossip.

Jane Fonda was working when I was in grade school, so she certainly qualifies.

Mary Tyler Moore has a credit before I entered kindergarten as the legs and voice of Sam on Richard Diamond, so she definitely counts.

And old scummy Pat Boone, whose earliest hit came before I was born and whose career was forwarded by the blatantly racist recording industry of the 1950s, qualifies as Hey Old Timer Gossip in anybody's book.

I hope most of these people are okay.