You So Crazy Alert™: Jim Carrey's wild night of partying!

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 2 May 2011.

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

Jim Carrey made some gossip headlines a year ago when he broke up with Jenny McCarthy, a large breasted comic actress who tragically thinks she knows something about vaccines and is putting uncounted numbers of children at risk. Now, the Star has the details of a wild night of partying for the comic actor, featuring pot, booze and four women.

What no coke, no heroin? No knives or guns brandished? The police weren't called in?

Pretty weak wild night if you ask me. Still, Jim sounds like he's renting the crazy by the hour instead of being married to it.

A much more frugal lifestyle choice in the long run.

Late to the Party alert:Jim and Jenny split

Publication: People

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

While I like The Gold Standard a little more than the other rags because of their kinder, gentler but not too gentle editorial policy, this story, like the Liz Taylor non-nuptials in the Globe, is another example of the problem with weekly gossip. This magazine is still on the newsstands until tomorrow, and this story broke on Twitter fifteen days ago.

As much as I love print, the 21st Century is not going to be kind to it.

On the Rocks Update:Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy together no more

Publication: Star magazine

Date: 19 Apr. 2010

I should have shown Star more respect and published this earlier. After all, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy announced their break-up on a Tuesday and only Star had it as a front page headline two days later.

But really, here's the problem with the entire business model of the supermarket rags. They can get scooped by Twitter, dude!

This is horse and buggy stuff.

Leaving the Love Boat™:Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy

Publication: Twitter

Date: 6 Apr. 2010

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy have announced the dissolution of their relationship. Both sent out tweets and their publicist confirmed the story to Entertainment Tonight.

Yes, this is what the world has come to. Double confirmation on Twitter trumps the Only Ten Magazines That Matter. It will be interesting to see if the announcement was made in time to screw the tabs, who have missed other stories that broke on Tuesdays this year.