Weekly World News alert: John the Baptist's sandals found!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 11 July 2011

The Weekly World News goes all New Testament on our butts this week, stating the sandals of John the Baptist have been found and they are healing the sick.

People familiar with the stories of John will recall he was kind of a wild street preacher, and paintings from the Middle Ages until today almost always depict him as barefooted, including this one I nicked off the Internet. Moreover, given the way he died, it's hard to believe the people who killed him took special care to preserve his garments.

Still, it's in the Weekly World News, so it must be true.

(Psych.)

Skeeter Davis Alert™: End of the World on July 4! (Again.)

Publication: Sun
Date: 2 May 2011

I hate to spoil everybody's Easter, but I report this day on the worst prediction of the End of the World I've seen yet on the cover of the Sun.

The world will end on July 4!

Again.

They predicted the same thing last year with almost the same details and same alleged prophets.

Here are the sub-headlines from this week's cover.

• Mother Teresa: Hidden Bible secrets
• Black Elk: Who will be saved
• Nostradamus: New Great plague hits U.S.
• John the Baptist: Satan appears in Congress
  

The only change from last year's line-up of dead psychic stars is Nostradamus is in and Edgar Cayce is out. Edgar saw firestorms instead of a great plague.

I've often wondered who buys the Sun and how profitable it can be. I'm now guessing the entire workforce is less than twenty, so it makes profitability a lot easier.

Skeeter Davis Alert™:Armageddon 2010

Publication: Sun
Date: 4 October 2010

The Sun knows what this blog wants. The End of the World with specific dates!

Okay, buddy. Armageddon good enough for ya? 2010 specific enough?

Yes and yes. Thanks very much.

They add the extra detail that John the Baptist's bones were found in a monastery and the curse that killed him is back.

As I recall my Bible stories, John the Baptist was beheaded, which doesn't exactly sound like a curse to me. But if there's a rash of unkempt crazy people found with their heads chopped off, remember, you heard it here first.