I feel about Teen Mom the way Jan Brady felt about Marcia.

Publications: In Touch, OK!
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Teen Mom nonsense abides. I report with no further comment.

• OK!: Maci & Kyle Split: She's still in loved with Ryan
• In Touch: Teen Mom dating disasters!
  In love with cheaters, druggies and a killer!
  Leah: Since Corey left, she's hooking up with three different guys!
  Farrah: Can't stop crying over new violent bad boy
  Maci: Wedding on hold! Why her ex Ryan is to blame
  
  

Let's get the Teen Mom crap out of the way. Because there's a boat load this week.

Publications: In Touch, OK!, Us Weekly
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! If you have been to this blog before, you know how I feel about Teen Mom. It would be nearly impossible for me to be clearer, though I will take a shot at the end of this post. But at the beginning of the year, I promised that any story on the cover of any magazine that mentioned someone or made a verifiable (or falsifiable) prediction would get a mention on this blog.

About the only thing I leave out are health tips and horoscopes on the cover of the Sun.

So here are the headlines, three on the different mags and with three different Teen Moms in focus.

• In Touch: Teen Mom ruined our lives (pictures of Farrah Abraham and Maci Bookout)
  anorexia, addiction and abuse
  living on cigarettes and popcorn to lose weight
  downing pills to mask the pain
  "bribed" to stay on the show
• Us Weekly: I want Kyle's Baby (Maci Bookout)
• OK!: Leah: a new man and a new child

I know I shouldn't harp on this stuff or I will just give myself an aneurysm, but the "bribe" to stay on the show is that these stupid girls - and they are still girls - are being paid the princely sum of $280,000 a season to have their stupid lives turned into fish bowls.

That's an obscene amount of money to pay some little bimbo for the mistake of having a baby before she graduates high school. (And yes, Bristol Palin gets included in this tirade as well, even though MTV isn't paying her.) No defense MTV makes for this show carries a milligram of weight, and the gossip rags that keep printing this shit are equally as guilty.

In a world that makes sense, people wouldn't watch this crap and magazines wouldn't write about it.

Getting the inevitable Teen Mom stuff out of the way.

Publication: OK!
Date: 13 June 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The two worst offenders when it comes to cover stories about the awful young women on Teen Mom are OK! and In Touch. This week it's the former, with the headline "new feuds, babies and a bride" and pictures of Maci Bookout, Amber Portwood and Farrah Abraham.

It continues to be the plague that did not pass over.

More bad life decisions from the cast of Teen Mom.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 21 February 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last year, I was picky about what reality TV I would report, but this year I've decided to hold my nose and report on this stuff.

When it comes to Teen Mom, the nose holding almost jumps from the figurative to the literal.

In Touch gives us a triple play of Teen Mom stupidity.

• Farrah Abraham is hoping a boob job will help her land a spin-off reality show. Yeah, that's worked so well for Heidi Montag.
• Jenelle Evans is blowing thousands on clothes and partying, but when these girls are getting paid hundreds of thousands, that number sounds like chump change.
• Amber Portwood is hooked on pills and trying to become a porn star.

Yes, I saved the ickiest for last. Remember that no one forced you to keep reading.