Love Bird Alert™:Charlize and Ryan secretly dating

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There are two different stories about Ryan Reynold this week in the supermarket rags, and I think these aren't planted crap hoping to boost the box office of Green Lantern, which is now a month old and about to slip out of the top ten. No, the gossip rags have decided to turn Mr. Reynolds into a man slut along the lines of Gerard Butler.

Welcome to gossip hell, Charlize Theron! Us Weekly tells us that Ryan is secretly dating the South African born beauty. This is her first mention on the cover of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter in two years. In the post just below this one, Weekly Life & Style says Reynolds is trying to get back with his ex Scarlett Johansson.

This is classic man slut behavior, or more likely, a classic example of the gossip rags trying to turn a guy into a man slut. It's a pretty good bet when two stories like this appear in the same week, there are going to be more on the way.

Love Bird Alert™:Scarlett & Ryan back on!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Ryan Reynolds is not a big movie star yet. His name above the title is not a promise of ticket sales. But the supermarket rags are fascinated with love life, so he is one of the biggest male gossip stars. Weekly Life & Style says he and ex-wife Scarlett Johannson are giving it another shot, at least for the time being.

This story is contradicted by another story this week.

The most beautiful woman in the world: Jennifer Lopez.

Publication: People
Date: 25 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! People has their double issue on the stands this week of Most Beautiful People, and most of the cover goes to Jennifer Lopez, with little pictures of Mila Kunis and Ryan Reynolds and the headline "95 fabulous faces".

95 is not only an odd number, it's a strange number. How hard would it have been to find five more good looking people and push the list to an even hundred?

For me, J. Lo is pretty but not super special. I am of the opinion the Ben Affleck pulled off one of the great upgrades in show business history when he got rid of her and hooked up with the taller, sexier and much lower maintenance Jennifer Garner.

Love Bird Alert™: Ryan Reynolds' new love.

Publication: People
Date: 21 March 2011

Early this year, the Only Ten Magazines That Matter were all over Ryan Reynolds' alleged love life, but recently there's been more about Ryan Phillippe and Ryan Gosling.

You'll know the all Ryan, all the time ploy has gone too far went they get to Ryan Seacrest.

In any case, Scarlett Johansson's former worse half has himself a new sweetie, though People does not name her or give her a picture on the cover.

Love Bird Alert™:Ryan and Scarlett share a romantic meal

Publications: Us Weekly, In Touch
Date: 14 February 2011

Estranged couple Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson had dinner together recently, and the story has it that Scarlett cried. No, mean Ryan didn't make her cry, she felt bad about being apart. This is fueling speculation that they will get back together, and both In Touch and Us Weekly decided it was worth a mention on the cover.

On the rocks alert: Ryan, Sandra and Scarlett, three different versions

(photo montage from celebezine.com)
Publications: Star, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 31 January 2011

So this is still the hot story of the beginning of 2011, the triangle between Scarlett, Ryan and Sandra. There are three different stories on the covers of three different magazines and they barely agree at all.

• Star: The Bitter Showdown! Scarlett confronts Sandra over Ryan
• In Touch: Ryan wants Scarlett back
• Weekly Life & Style: Sandra puts baby over romance. Is she afraid to love again?
  Plus, inside her meeting with Scarlett

As I have often written, when the tabloids disagree this much, it's hard to tell who is telling the truth, but it's a sure thing the story isn't over.

On the rocks AND Love Bird Alert™:Ryan's side of the story

Publications: In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly
Date: 24 January 2011

I thought there was a good chance that Sandra Bullock, the number one cover girl of 2010 on The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, might fade back out of the gossip spotlight this year after she dumped Jesse James, but that does not appear to be the case. She and Ryan Reynolds get three headlines ignoring Scarlett Johannson this week, though another player, Sandy's adopted son Louis Bardo Bullock, becomes part of the story.

• In Touch: Ryan & Sandra's romantic getaway
• Weekly Life & Style: Ryan meets Sandra's baby
• Us Weekly: Ryan and Sandra bonding over baby

I am still not convinced that the Reynolds-Bullock relationship is romantic, though it might become so in time. The only part of this story I buy 100% is that Ryan Reynolds is a Right Thinking American, though technically born in Canada, because all Right Thinking Americans must love Louis Bardo Bullock.

On the rocks alert:Scarlett's side of the story

Publications: National Enquirer, OK!
Date: 24 January 2011

In an odd coincidence, Scarlett Johansson's side of the big break-up of the season is on the covers of both the nicest supermarket rag and the meanest. If you don't know which is which, the difference in the headlines should give a big hint.

• OK!: How Scarlett found out about Sandra
• National Enquirer: Scarlett to Sandra: "You're a Man Hungry Tramp!"
  Battle over Ryan gets ugly!

Did you notice the subtle difference, gentle reader? Yes, I thought you might.

And a little bit of editorializing on my part. Since I took out The Big Ugly Stick on Victoria Beckham yesterday, let me say something nice about Scarlett Johansson today, bringing out the gentlemanly aspect of my Dirty Old Manhood. She is not the prettiest actress working today. Feature for feature, she isn't Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie, to give two examples. But when the camera is on her and she is told to "act sexy", nobody in Hollywood can keep up with her.

Love Bird Alert™:Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds spend New Year's Eve together

Publications: OK!, Star, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, In Touch
Date: 17 January 2011

The most covered story this week is that Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock spent New Year's Eve together. They insist they are just friends, but the gossip rags are insisting otherwise. Here are the headlines on the five magazines that devoted cover space to the story.

• Weekly Life & Style: Sandra and Ryan: It's on!
• In Touch: Ryan & Sandra's secret date
• Star: Sandra and Ryan's revenge romance
• OK!: Sandra and Ryan: Yes, they're together! (After an emotional year, Sandra turns to Ryan for and intimate New Year's Eve)
• Us Weekly: Sandra and Ryan: It's on! (details of their sexy weekend, bonded over bad break-ups, friends say they are perfect together)

I'm still skeptical of the story despite the deluge of gossip, but I did go back and give Star a Scoop of the Week for being the first to report on it about a week ago.

Love Bird Alert™:Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds address the rumors

Publication: OK!
Date: 10 January 2011

Last week, Star magazine published a story that said Ryan and Sandy have been dating for months. This week, OK! tells us they answer the rumors. More likely, their representatives answer the rumors.

OK! is not the most reliable gossip rag, but I definitely give it more weight than the Star, the best groomed dog in the AMI kennel, but a dog nonetheless.

On the rocks alert: Ryan and Scarlett, what went wrong

Publication: People
Date: 10 January 2011

Clearly, the breakup of Ryan and Scarlett is the biggest celebrity split right now, so it only makes sense that The Gold Standard would weigh in on the situation. As usual, I didn't open the magazine up to find out exactly who was to blame, but I expect their version of the story wil be closer to the truth than stuff published elsewhere.

On the rocks alert:Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds have been dating for months.

Publication: Star
Date: 3 January 2011

So why did Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson break up? If we believe the Star, a dicey proposition at best, it's because of that awful home wrecker Sandra Bullock, who has been dating Ryan Reynolds for months.

An unusual but not inexplicable factoid seems to back this theory up. If you go on the Internet and try to find pictures of Ryan and Scarlett together, it's slim pickings, mostly candid shots with the couple dressed in street clothes that look like they were taken either by paparazzi or fans with cell phones. On the other hand, there are plenty of pictures of Ryan and Sandy around, being all friendly on red carpet after red carpet, as in the picture above. The pictures are easily explained, since the couple starred in a romantic comedy called The Proposal which came out in 2009.

And so we are left with the modern journalism problem. Person #1 says x, Person #2 says y, sorry, we're out of time and we will have to leave it there, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. In the case of Us Weekly and the Star, I don't think the truth is anywhere to be found yet, but I'm sure we will hear much more in the weeks to come.

On the rocks alert:How Scarlett broke Ryan's heart

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 3 January 2011

The divorce of Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds has been announced, but blame has yet to be determined completely. According to Us, she broke his heart, the shameless hussy!

Another theory of the problem is put forward by the Star this week. Having conflicting stories in different gossip rags is not uncommon, and it's always a sign that the story isn't over yet.