Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Best and worst winter beach bodies for early May 2011.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 9 May 2011

The Flagship has been doing a lot of beach body covers recently, and while they call them best and worst, most of the cover pictures tend to the worst. The only exception this time around is a flattering picture of Serena Williams that shows off her remarkable butt, if you like that sort of thing. There is a "Guess Who?" of some actress who is enormously fat, but I didn't open the magazine up to find out who. Most of the rest are way too skinny. Here are the headlines.

• Steve Tyler - dude looks like a lady
• Serena Williams - buns of steel
• Kathy Griffin - needs a burger and a tan
• Taylor Armstrong - guess which Housewife?
  
  

Steven Tyler: "I'm lucky to be alive."

Publication: People
Date: 9 May 2011

People has an interview with the Steven Tyler. Here are the headlines.

• the Aerosmith wild man on his four kids, eight rehabs and stunning comeback on American (False) Idol.
  
• "I don't ever want to be a bad example again."

He's on that awful show, so he'll always be a bad example of music for me.

Creepy Love Bird Alert™:Steven Tyler's teen lover.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 14 February 2011

Nobody thought Steven Tyler was worth gossiping about last year, but now that he's on American False Idol, he gets a story about his teen lover.

From like forty years ago.

Back when Aerosmith first hit and he was 25, his girlfriend was underage and he saw her for about three years. A 25 year old with a 15 year old is creepy, but of course reading the headline, you might think he had a young girlfriend jumping his now 62 year old bones, and that would be downright disgusting.