On the Rocks Alert:Brad mocks Jen

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 10 May 2010

Us Weekly tells us that Brad Pitt has mocked Jennifer Aniston. This goes against type for Brad, who is usually played in the tabloids as a hopeless fool in love instead of a mean person who mocks others.

Obviously, this is a source outside his immediate family.

On the Rocks Alert:Brad mocks Jen

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 10 May 2010

Us Weekly tells us that Brad Pitt has mocked Jennifer Aniston. This goes against type for Brad, who is usually played in the tabloids as a hopeless fool in love instead of a mean person who mocks others.

Obviously, this is a source outside his immediate family.

Brad's mom's fears for the twins

Publications: National Enquirer, In Touch
Date: 10 May 2010

In Touch is vague, but gives the important clue that it is Brad Pitt's mom who is worried about the health of the twins Vivienne and Knox. The Flagship doesn't give a source, but they come out and say that the twins have Down's Syndrome.

Whether the diagnosis is true or not, the important news we have this week is the probable identity of the source of all the trash the tabs print about BrAngelina, and that's Brad's family. It would help explain why he's (almost) always the good guy and Angelina is always the villain.

Brad's mom's fears for the twins

Publications: National Enquirer, In Touch
Date: 10 May 2010

In Touch is vague, but gives the important clue that it is Brad Pitt's mom who is worried about the health of the twins Vivienne and Knox. The Flagship doesn't give a source, but they come out and say that the twins have Down's Syndrome.

Whether the diagnosis is true or not, the important news we have this week is the probable identity of the source of all the trash the tabs print about BrAngelina, and that's Brad's family. It would help explain why he's (almost) always the good guy and Angelina is always the villain.

Good Dad Alert:Brad and Shiloh's play date

Publication: OK!
Date: 10 May 2010

There are a lot of stories about the Pitt-Jolie clan this week, though the focus is more on the kids or on Brad than on Angelina. OK!, which so far this year is easily the nicest of the tabloids with about 72% positive stories, just has the headline "Brad and Shiloh's Play Date".

Sounds like fun for both of them.

Good Dad Alert:Brad and Shiloh's play date

Publication: OK!
Date: 10 May 2010

There are a lot of stories about the Pitt-Jolie clan this week, though the focus is more on the kids or on Brad than on Angelina. OK!, which so far this year is easily the nicest of the tabloids with about 72% positive stories, just has the headline "Brad and Shiloh's Play Date".

Sounds like fun for both of them.

On the Rocks Alert times five:The Examiner rehashes old stories and hopes you won't notice.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 10 May 2010

There is a pattern in the Examiner to have a single headline carry multiple sub-stories. We've had the secrets of country and western music stars, the troubles with the law of celebrity kids, the standard "who's gay and who's not stuff" in the past few months, and now we have a bunch of celebrity divorces and break-ups under a single banner headline. Everything in this story has been published someplace else already, but the Examiner is hoping its older readers will have not seen all these before or maybe they have and they've just forgotten.

• Good Catholic Mel Gibson divorced his wife for a hot Russian chick, and he's already given her the bootski
• Richard Chamberlain has left the man he has lived with since Nixon was president
• Susan Sarandon has a hot new boy toy
• Melissa Ethridge and her wife are calling it quits
• Larry King had sex with his wife's sister

If you know you've already heard all these things before, you are obviously not the target market for the Examiner. They can wait, of course. Eventually you will not be able to eat solid food, and then the Examiner will be chock full of news you can use.