Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Michelle Obama trashes Laura Bush after book snub

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 5 July 2010

Usually, it's the Globe is telling us about trouble in the marriages of the Obamas or the Bushes, with about twice as many stories about the current White House residents as about the former. This week, it's the Examiner instead telling us that the two first ladies aren't getting along.

Who do you pick in this fight?

She looks mean.

She looks crazy.

Personally, I'm going to call in the professionals and stay as far away from the action as possible. Absolutely no sense in being a hero in a situation like this.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Michelle Obama trashes Laura Bush after book snub

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 5 July 2010

Usually, it's the Globe is telling us about trouble in the marriages of the Obamas or the Bushes, with about twice as many stories about the current White House residents as about the former. This week, it's the Examiner instead telling us that the two first ladies aren't getting along.

Who do you pick in this fight?

She looks mean.

She looks crazy.

Personally, I'm going to call in the professionals and stay as far away from the action as possible. Absolutely no sense in being a hero in a situation like this.

Weekly World News alert:Hillary controls Bill with voodoo!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 5 July 2010

Sure, the Weekly World News is a shadow of its former self, but sometimes you still gotta love 'em. The World's Fattest Cat and World's Fattest Dog bore me silly and killing the Two Headed Bigfoot on the White House lawn earlier this month was spending too much fun too early on a single story.

But all is forgiven this week as we learn that Hillary Clinton is controlling Bill with voodoo. So, all those diplomatic trips to Haiti paid some dividends after all!

She might want to put a few pins in the voodoo doll Bill's elbow, because he's been bending it a lot lately. He was sitting next to Mick Jagger at the U.S.A.-Ghana match today. Mick looked fit, trim, happy and completely engaged in the exciting match. Bill looked crunk.*

Just sayin'.

*(Short for crazy drunk for my friends not keeping up on the street lingo.)

Weekly World News alert:Hillary controls Bill with voodoo!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 5 July 2010

Sure, the Weekly World News is a shadow of its former self, but sometimes you still gotta love 'em. The World's Fattest Cat and World's Fattest Dog bore me silly and killing the Two Headed Bigfoot on the White House lawn earlier this month was spending too much fun too early on a single story.

But all is forgiven this week as we learn that Hillary Clinton is controlling Bill with voodoo. So, all those diplomatic trips to Haiti paid some dividends after all!

She might want to put a few pins in the voodoo doll Bill's elbow, because he's been bending it a lot lately. He was sitting next to Mick Jagger at the U.S.A.-Ghana match today. Mick looked fit, trim, happy and completely engaged in the exciting match. Bill looked crunk.*

Just sayin'.

*(Short for crazy drunk for my friends not keeping up on the street lingo.)

He Fought The Law Alert™:Inside the twisted mind of Joran van der Sloot

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 5 July 2010

The Examiner doesn't do that much investigation into true crime stories, especially true crimes that happened this century. They are more interested in who killed JFK or Natalie Wood. This week, they follow the lead of The Flagship and give valuable cover space to the story of Joran van der Sloot, confessed murderer of a young woman in Peru and prime suspect in the murder of Natalee Holloway five years ago in Aruba.

He Fought The Law Alert™:Inside the twisted mind of Joran van der Sloot

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 5 July 2010

The Examiner doesn't do that much investigation into true crime stories, especially true crimes that happened this century. They are more interested in who killed JFK or Natalie Wood. This week, they follow the lead of The Flagship and give valuable cover space to the story of Joran van der Sloot, confessed murderer of a young woman in Peru and prime suspect in the murder of Natalee Holloway five years ago in Aruba.

He Fought The Law Alert™:Joran van der Sloot AIDS shocker!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 5 July 2010

The Flagship has Joran van der Sloot on the cover for the third week in a row. The cover headline is vague. There are no independent confirmations or even rumors that he is HIV positive, but if he stays incarcerated in Peru, the prisons there have nearly non-existent health care and high levels of tuberculosis and AIDS infection.

More wishful thinking on the part of the Enquirer, whose editors are always willing to jump very long distances to get to a conclusion.