Love Bird Alert™ and Bun In The Oven Alert™:Angie's expecting and all is forgiven

Publication: Star
Date: 1 November 2010

Fresh trash on Thursdays! What would life be like if we didn't have completely conflicting reports on the state of the BrAngelina marriage? I really don't know, because we always have conflicting reports on their status.

If they are on Facebook, they are definitely using the "It's Complicated" label.

The most surprising detail of the positive story this week that Brad and Angie are back in love and she has a baby bump is that it is in the Star, a magazine that averages about 25% positive stories in general and has been happy to trash BrAngelina time and again in the past, while the negative story is in Weekly Life & Style. WL&S runs about 50% positive stories in general and they haven't been that interested in BrAngelina. When they are, they usually trash Angie, but they have had some positive stories about the family in the past.

On the rocks alert:The video that will split BrAngelina

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 1 November 2010

If Brad and Angie didn't exist, the supermarket rags would have to invent them. The troubles of Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston may come and go, but the craziness of Angelina Jolie and the level of dislike the magazines have for her is not going away any time soon.

Angie's ex-drug dealer blabs to Weekly Life & Style this week, and according to him, she said a lot of nasty stuff when loaded. This fine, upstanding citizen says she used both heroin and coke, and the magazine also has the line "Brad admits: We may split." which makes it sound like a quote.

If People has a quote on the cover, I trust they got it right. The other nine magazines make way too much shit up to believe a quote like this.

Hairdresser Alert™ and more:NFL Scandals Exposed

Publication: Globe
Date: 25 October 2010

Fresh trash delivered tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The Globe has a story about NFL scandals, though no faces are on the cover. The three categories of scandal mentioned are:

• Love Triangles
• Boozing
• Gay Groping

Team sport athletes are not the right celebrities for the supermarket rags unless they are dating a Kardashian. The editors probably think they don't have enough appeal across the country. That said, the troubles of Ben Roethlisberger (sexual assault charges dropped, but many disgusting details made public), Jamarcus Russell (caught selling drugs), Brett Favre (harassing a woman who worked for his former team the Jets) and Junior Seau (spousal abuse and driving off a cliff after his release from jail) have made the national news wires, though none of them have been mentioned by name on the covers any of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this year.

Bundle of joy alert:Pictures of Mario Lopez' baby girl Gia

Publication: OK!
Date: 25 October 2010

Mario Lopez is pictured with his new baby girl Gia on the cover of OK! this week. The mother of young Gia, actress Courtney Mazza, didn't rate any camera time, probably because this soon after childbirth, she doesn't look as good as Mario does with his shirt off.

Love Bird Alert™:David Annable and Odette Yustman tie the knot

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 25 October 2010

Here are two names new to the supermarket tabs, and I'm a little embarrassed to say they are completely new to me as well. Dave Annable, top billed actor on the TV series Brothers and Sisters which co-stars Callista Flockhart, married Odette Yustman, who played the romantic lead in Cloverfield. I've never seen the TV show and I completely hated the movie.

On the positive side, they are both very pretty, the match is completely age appropriate (he's 31, she's 25) and in keeping with this blog's pro-love policy, we wish the happy couple all the best.

Breaking news:Tom Bosley dead at 83

Many sources on the 'Net, including Popeater.com, are reporting the death of Tom Bosley today from complications for a staph infection. He turned 83 at the beginning of this month. He won a Tony in 1959 for the lead role in Fiorello!, but is known to audiences for his ten year run as Howard Cunningham on Happy Days. A lot of sitcom stars never get another chance to play a different role with popular success, but Bosley also had a four year run in the Father Dowling Mystery series in the late 1980s and early 1990s. His most recent work was in The Back Up Plan with Jennifer Lopez, a movie released this year.

Best wishes to his family and friends, from a fan.

Michael Douglas changes his will

Publication: Star
Date: 25 October 2010

The Star continues with their campaign to wish the worst for Michael Douglas. Last week they said Douglas and his wife Catherine Zeta Jones were saying goodbye. This week they say he changed his will and use the phrase "last wishes".

This story could be true and it still wouldn't mean Michael Douglas isn't going to beat this thing. A lot of people faced with a situation that involves serious risk give new thoughts to their will, then they beat the odds. On the Letterman show, Douglas said the doctors gave him odds of 80% to beat this. Those sound pretty good.

Best wishes once again to Michael Douglas, his family and friends, from a fan.