Meanest Story nominee:Todd Palin caught up in sex scandal!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 31 January 2011

If it's a competition for Meanest Story of the Week, it is only fit and proper the The Flagship has at least one nominee. This week they go with the story that the Palin marriage is in trouble. According to the Enquirer headline writers, Todd is such a forgettable nobody that the headline reads, "Sarah Palin's husband caught up in sex scandal! The woman who threatens their marriage!"

As little as I might like these two, they've raised five kids (with mixed results) through thick and thin and I doubt either one of them wants to get off the gravy train now. The Enquirer loves to print this stuff because they know how thin-skinned she is and that she has to respond to everything. There is yet another Sarah story in the tabs this week, but this one gets a Meanest Story nominee.

Meanest Story nominee:Katie Holmes' drug shocker!

Publication: Star
Date: 31 January 2011

As I mentioned when I started this blog, there are two couples who are always about to split up according to The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, BrAngelina and TomKat. The working premise is that if things were normal they would separate, so clearly if they are together, things cannot be normal. Star is claiming Katie Holmes is messed up on drugs and that's the reason she can't leave Tom Cruise. There is some irony in this, given how much Scientologists in general and Tom Cruise in particular hate psychotropic drugs.

This gets a Meanest Story nominee.

Breaking news:Jesse James and Kat Von D engaged.

Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 20 January 2011

It has been confirmed that man slut Jesse James and his skanky tattoo pal Kat Von D are engaged to be married. Apparently, they have been tweeting about it for over a week and it took this long for anyone to notice. There might be something on a cover of a supermarket rag next week, but maybe not. In terms of fame, he traded way down.

Amazing Kreskin's predictions for 2011!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 31 January 2011

This story is amazing for many reasons! Let me count them off.

1. It's a prediction story in the low rent Examiner, not from the totally made up Sun!
2. There are NO predictions on the cover, and I reported on the story anyway!
3. A guy from New Jersey with bad eyeglasses could pull off this act for half a century and people will still pay to see him!

Now THAT, my friends, is AMAZING!

He fought the Law alert:Bachelor Brad's criminal past.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 31 January 2011

Who gives a rat's rectum about Bachelor Brad? So far, it's been OK! and Star that have supplied stories about him this year. OK! kinda likes him, Star kinda doesn't, if you count having someone say you have a rap sheet as not liking you.

Bundle of joy alert:Nicole's new baby by a surrogate mother!

Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 31 January 2011

Nicole Kidman has not been a big target for gossip, except for stories about too much plastic surgery. But this week, three different magazines go with the story that she and husband Keith Urban decided to have a baby using a surrogate and the little girl had just arrived. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Nicole's surrogate: it's a girl!
• Weekly Life & Style: Nicole's baby joy: it's a girl!
• People: Nicole's secret baby
  "Our family is truly blessed."
  Why the star, 43, and Keith Urban kept the news of surrogate born daughter Faith Margaret from almost everyone.

Best wishes to the happy family.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Big fight on Real Housewives of Atlanta

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 31 January 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays!

Welcome to gossip hell 2011, Real Housewives of Atlanta! If you are a fan of the show, first names are enough, so Weekly Life & Style tell us there's a dust-up between Nene and Kim!

For those who don't follow this show, the full names are Nene Leakes and Kim Zolciak.

Each Housewife gets a quote on the cover.

• Nene: "Kim could be racist"
• Kim: "I fear for my life"

This is the sort of wholesome entertainment that has taken the place of Ozzie and Harriet, isn't it?