Problems with Plastic Alert™:Heidi's huge hooters won't go away!

Publications: Star, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 17 May 2010

Okay, let's admit it. Heidi Montag's bodacious ta-tas are the elephant in the room. We cannot avoid discussing them.

Two supermarket rags help us with that discussion.

Star: Heidi: "I made a mistake."

Well, that's a frakking boring discussion. Anything else?

Glad you asked, hypothetical question asker.

Weekly Life & Style: "Heidi FORCED into more surgery!"

Okay, now we're getting somewhere! Was it her scumbag fame whore satellite husband who is making her get even more grotesquely large boobs?

No! According to her fame whore satellite husband!

I admit it, I checked inside. Spencer Pratt, an unreliable witness it there ever was one, says that Heidi snapped after a comment by... wait for it... Ryan Seacrest!

Yes, Ryan Seacrest, Hairdresser Alert in waiting, says to Heidi when she comes to his radio show something to the effect of "Your breasts aren't that big", and this idiot chick SNAPS and opts for the next size up!

This is Spencer's story and he's sticking to it. He is either continuing to remain married with a DERANGED woman or he's lying, probably to cover his part in her continued self-disfigurement.

Which possibility seems more likely to you?