Hairdresser and Comfy Shoes Alert™:The Flagship has another "Who's Gay and Who's Not" cover

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 14 June 2010

The same three tabloids that do the majority of death predictions also do the majority of celebrity outings, and that would be the Enquirer, Examiner and Globe, all owned by the same corporation. The pictures take up the majority of the cover this week, and since the title is "who's gay and who's not", you have to look inside to find out which is which.

I didn't look inside. I don't really care.

Here's the list of faces with names. There are also two women kissing behind a coy "Guess who?" headline making it difficult to identify the pair. I didn't look inside because I really don't care.

• Ricky Martin, the only person on the cover who is openly gay to my knowledge
• Bono of U2
• Michael Emerson from Lost
• Janet Jackson
• Jada Pinkett Smith
• Monica Lewinsky
• Crystal Bowersox

None of these people make a living professing hatred of homosexuality or promising a cure, so I consider it completely none of my business who they like to get nekkid with. That's just how I roll.